I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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