I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
