i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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