i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she looked like the before picture.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
