And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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