So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
