I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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