Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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