She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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