please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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