Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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