If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
