THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
