Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
