And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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