she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
