hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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