We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize