I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
