I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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