I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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