Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
