hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
