I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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