So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize