So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize