Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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