Define "chronic" masturbator.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
