There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your cock deserves a montage
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize