Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I know her cup size but not her name....
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