ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
