i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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