Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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