i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
