Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
