I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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