i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
