Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
