Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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