is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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