It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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