Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
