Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
