happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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