8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
