guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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