So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
