When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
