we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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