just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize