I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
