you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
