I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
birth control should be required to get into college
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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