Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
