super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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