u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
