you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
