Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
