Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
