I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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