She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
