So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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