weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
