Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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